Enter panic attack.

Today while in my favourite ever store, Sparty's, I received a phone call from Dr L's receptionist.

She told me that Dr L wants Isla's botox brought forward from the 4th of June to the 7th of May - which is in 2 weeks time.

I said "Of course, we'll be there" and hung up. I didn't think to ask any more questions.

2 weeks.

I couldn't concentrate on anything from that point on. I browsed the aisles aimlessly while trying to ring Hubby to get him to cancel the day off he'd put in for June and ask him to bring it forward to the 7th of May.

Hubby said there's no way he can get the 7th off as they've just authorised his RDO for the 6th of May as well as approving his time off in June.

Great.

Rang Mum to let her know what was going on and to see if she could look after Harper for the day. She said no problems. Relief.

Leave Sparty's empty-handed. This NEVER happens. Mind still spinning, this is all too quick.

I know I've been banging on about Botox for years now, but it's never been this close. I was just starting to come to terms with June being so close, but now it's 2 weeks away.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I can't explain why I'm so petrified at the moment. I've known she needs it for the longest time. I missed my cousins wedding because we were saving up for it (before she was 2 where it's not subsidised) but she didn't need it. She was meant to have it last May, but I decided against it after all that FDA stuff with the deaths in the US.

Trying not to cry now.

Hope I can hold it all together for Isla's sake at the hospital. She'll be terrified if I'm upset, even more so than I expect she already will be.

Will see if I can get a gas mask to get her used to it. To get me used to it.

We see Michael on Monday. So much to discuss.