Friday, November 23, 2007

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Had my tonsils out on Wednesday, came home last night.

Feeling pretty ordinary today, mouth full of gunk, swallowing hurts - painting a pretty picture isn't it?

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and messages, means lots!

BIG thanks to Auntie Kate and Janine for looking after Isla while I've been unable - means a lot :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Stll no BFP

Update...

Still no progress with trying to conceive.

Ian's had his SA, the results aren't back yet. I've had two lots of blood tests so far with more to come. One lot was just to check for deficiencies etc, the second lot were to see if I've ovulated and to check hormone levels.

Still another 2ish weeks until I see the specialist again, although his office called on Tuesday to say that I have no rubella immunity, so I need to be vaccinated again, then wait another 4 weeks to continue TTC, which is odd, last time I had the injection (Isla was 3 days old) I was told not to conceive for 3 months, so I may have to find some more info or just err on the caution and wait the 3 months.

Still have 2 more ultrasounds to go, just waiting for AF to show up before I can be booked in for those.

It's a bit overwhelming. We started actively TTC some 15 months ago and each month gets harder and harder. At times it feels like the whole world is pregnant (which I know isn't the case) and everyone is so keen to offer their advice.

The worst one is "Stop thinking about it and it will happen" it makes me mad. It's also shitting me to hear people's stories changing, "Oh it took us X amount of months to conceive XYZ" when I know that it didn't...I guess for some it's a competition, but it's one I'd like to no longer be a part of.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Saw the Ob again today, all my blood tests came back normal - all hormone levels are fine, kidneys and liver doing what they should be. He said not to have the Rubella booster because I'm obviously one of those people that it has no effect on. My levels are down to 23, which is lower than when I was pregnant with Isla, they were 27 then (weird considering I've had a booster since!).

Ian's sperm count was through the roof and all normal little swimmers which is reassuring, he was stressing about it a little. So, the possibilities are:

a) I'm not ovulating (which the dr has partially dismissed - his theory is that erratic cycles indicate that I am ovulating, just not at a particular time) and will probably have to start on fertility drugs (Clomid) to make me ovulate.

b) There's a blockage in the fallopian tubes - need a TPA to see whether that's the case (will have to be next cycle though as I didn't want to have this procedure then have my tonsils out)

c) The lesion on my right ovary is causing the infertility - they still don't quite know what it is, another ultrasound should be enough to find out though..

or

d) unexplained infertility.

*sigh*

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A-Z of all things Isla

A is for arriba! "Arriba up, abajo down" Isla's favourite Spanish song.

B is for bubbles - Isla will often spend hours blowing bubbles, chasing bubbles, drawing bubbles. There's something so wonderful about watching children play with bubbles, to see the genuine intrigue and happiness is amazing.

C is for Chocolate - it seems to be a bit of a vice for Isla (she's so much like her Mummy sometimes *wub*) Freddo frogs are a big hit around here, although she's quite partial to good old Top Deck too :)

D is for Dora - Isla's favourite show. Thanks to Dora, Isla speaks in Spanish quite fluently and insisted on counting meat in the supermarket in Spanish - much to our surprise. "Te quiero mucho little Isla" xx.

Last weekend was very special indeed. To celebrate what would have been my "Papa's" 80th Birthday, Mum, my sister Kate, Ian, Isla and I made the drive to Bawley Point to scatter his ashes. Bawley Point is where we would holiday as children, either with Mum & Dad, or more often, with Nan and Pap. We had a simple set up down there, just a caravan and an annex, but it was the best place on Earth. I have so many wonderful memories from my childhood days spent at Racecourse Beach, like putting on concerts for the grown ups, playing totem tennis with my cousins or swimming for hours while Nan and Libby sat patiently on the beach and waited for us to finish.I'm sure that Papa would have loved the spot that we picked for him over in the rock pools, he has a wonderful view of the beach and the lighthouse at night. The rock pools were chosen because Pap loved to look in them for crabs for his fishing, and once we'd decided on where we'd scatter his ashes, the most wonderful warm breeze enveloped us like a sign from Pap that this was the place for him. When two little crabs scuttled across the rocks after he was scattered, we knew that he was happy.

It was quite surreal to go back to Bawley after a long time away. I was 13 or 14 the last time we went down there and almost everything has changed which is quite sad really. The place itself is still beautiful, we stayed in a Beachfront Villa and the view was great, but all the things I remembered about Bawley were changed or missing. There were no caravans or annexes, no tents or open land that were used as camping fields when we used to go down there. The tractor is missing from the playground, but the tunnel is still there. There's a big in-ground swimming pool, a gaming room, mini-golf and the old tennis courts are still there.

Isla had her first encounter with the surf not long after we arrived on Friday and loved it, although she was a little frightened at first. She squealed and laughed the entire time, it was such a beautiful moment to watch. We built some pretty impressive sandcastles then returned to the Villa to feed some ducks before venturing over to the playground while we waited for Ian to arrive. That night we sat outside and listened to the crashing of the waves and watched a little family of possums running around alongside the Villa, who were tame enough to feed by hand.

Saturday we went over to South Beach (or Shelley Beach as it's formally known) and it was picturesque. The aqua water lapping genlty on the sandy shore was even more beautiful than I had remembered. Isla was keen to get back into the surf, if only up to her knees! She once again had a wonderful time splashing about, alternating between holding my hand and Nana's. Ian and I attempted to take her out a little further, much to her disgust, and she was promptly heard crying "Nana, save me!". We built more sandcastles, collected shells and pebbles then went back to the Villa for lunch and a long relaxing sleep. Later that afternoon we went back to the playground where Isla had an almighty fall off the swing (see action shot!). She let go mid air and landed on her head, the rest of her body collapsing on top of her like a rag doll. I was certain that she had broken something, but after a few tears she was back on the slippery dip, but not too interested in the swing anymore.


Sunday, Ian left early to beat the traffic in time to have some time on his own at home, so we went around to Kioloa for a swim. Kioloa hasn't changed at all the boat ramp and the general store seem unaltered which is nice. We didn't explore the rockpools around the boat ramp like we used to when Nan and Pap took us down there, so unfortunately there were no stingray sightings on this trip. We only managed to stay there for about half an hour because the heat was so intense - all of us were covered in sunscreen and we still went pink! The walk back to the car lasted almost as long as the stay at the beach, with Isla insisting on picking up numerous pebbles and shells and looking for pippi's.

It was a great weekend, I'm so greatful to Mum for taking us down there, it really was what the doctor ordered!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Hello terrible twos!


Better late than never! Tantrums are coming hard and fast from Isla these days. Vegemite seems to be a repeat offender, she asks for it on her toast, and as soon as it's on there the whole world is going end.

It's becoming increasingly hard to leave the house, she's stubborn like her father ( ;) ) and doesn't like being told what to do. Kate copped an earful of screaming the other day when we attempted to go shopping last week - I don't think Auntie Kate thought such noises were possible!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Update...

Still no progress with trying to conceive.

Ian's had his SA, the results aren't back yet. I've had two lots of blood tests so far with more to come. One lot was just to check for deficiencies etc, the second lot were to see if I've ovulated and to check hormone levels.

Still another 2ish weeks until I see the specialist again, although his office called on Tuesday to say that I have no rubella immunity, so I need to be vaccinated again, then wait another 4 weeks to continue TTC, which is odd, last time I had the injection (Isla was 3 days old) I was told not to conceive for 3 months, so I may have to find some more info or just err on the caution and wait the 3 months.

Still have 2 more ultrasounds to go, just waiting for AF to show up before I can be booked in for those.

It's a bit overwhelming. We started actively TTC some 15 months ago and each month gets harder and harder. At times it feels like the whole world is pregnant (which I know isn't the case) and everyone is so keen to offer their advice.

The worst one is "Stop thinking about it and it will happen" it makes me mad. It's also shitting me to hear people's stories changing, "Oh it took us X amount of months to conceive XYZ" when I know that it didn't...I guess for some it's a competition, but it's one I'd like to no longer be a part of.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

About Me...

I guess this is the spot where I should write a little bit about me - but it's always something that I really struggle to do...where to start...

I met my husband Ian back in 2003, we fell in love with each other straight away. We met at the Speedway, he and his Dad were helping out his Uncle who races Sprintcars, and my Dad and I were pit-crewing for his Uncle also. We've been married since 2005.

I am the mother of a beautiful little girl called Isla, who is almost 3 years old. Having Isla has changed my world in more ways than I could have ever imagined. It's amazing how little you care about things that were once a top priority once you're given a little person nurture. I think that things happen for a reason, and having Isla was what I was put here to do - she is such a beautiful soul, I am prouder and prouder of her every single day.

Isla is such a precious little lady, the walking personification of determination. I had a condition when I was pregnant with Isla called Placenta Praevia Grade IV - which essentially means that the placenta embedded on top of my cervix. This condition, meant that I had a lot of haemorrhages - and as I was bleeding, Isla didn't receive enough bloodflow to her brain, which caused brain damage (specifically Periventricular Leukomalacia or PVL). It wasn't until Isla was 10 months old, that she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, Spastic Diplegia. Basically, it means that her brain is missing the part that tells her legs to relax. Isla wears orthotics (AFO's) and they help her feet stay flat - the spastic diplegia makes Isla's leg muscles so tight that she walks on her tippy toes. She's come such a long way since that day in November 2005 when she was diagnosed, and she is a constant source of inspiration.

I'm 1/2 way through a University degree in Teaching which I deferred many moons ago when I injured my shoulder and thoracic spine. I hope that one day I will be able to pick up where I left off. As well as being a Mummy, I also work in Retail for a women's clothing label in a major department store. In the new year I will be starting a new course in photography which will hopefully be a foot in the door to a Photography diploma or similar.

Ian and I have been trying to have another baby for 15 months this month (November 2007) but we're taking a break while we wait for test results/I have my tonsils taken out/Christmas..watch this space.

;;